interview-Hermann Eben on how to build Great Relation ships

“GR8 Relationship Series-Book i: How Did This Happen To Me?” and “Book 4: What Happened To Us?” by Hermann Eben (Equip Press)

These are 2 of the 8 books in this series of small books with big visions. The author, a very successful businessman, was rocked in 1981 by being confronted with God, which led to Hermann’s realization that he was not genuinely pursuing God’s righteousness. In his world was rocked again in 1991 by learning that he wife was having an affair. With God’s help, they reconciled, and he has turned the insight gained the hard way into this series.

Book 1 “How Did This Happen To Me?” he and his wife Louie lead us through understanding how a loving couple , active in church and ministry, could get in such serious trouble with each other and God. Hermann was a hard worker, who began to put more and more energy into work and less and less into his marriage. Louie starts drinking to mask her emotions rather than depending on Christ to remove them. It turned into full-blown addiction. Both learned a painful lesson: “turn your focus away from yourself and purse the best for others. Do this patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally.” They diagnose that “The Flashing ME is the biggest problem.” Do you want and expect to be served, or to serve others? Is it Love or Selfishness?

In the GR8 Relationships they talk about The Three Fs and a C : Feelings, Freedom, Forgiveness, and Confession. Don’t be an amoeba, acting and responding like a one-cell creature with no brain! “You are free to do whatever you want, but why would you? If forgiveness is the cure, guilt is the problem, and we’re all guilty. To confess is to admit you have done something wrong, that others are hurt, and that God’s righteousness has been disregarded.

Book 4 dives into how relationships can go badly off the rails. Genesis displays the origin and purpose of marriage, which shows the critical component of any relationship is being anchored in God. Man is designed for work and activity, taking care of the creation, in need of companionship from a woman.  Her design is to “help, support, aid and designate assistance”. We can manage a business, but  not a marriage; we can build a partnership in our marriage if we treat it as a living relationship grounded in God.Our relationship with each other is based on this balance, but if the husband puts his significance in work, and the wife puts her in security, and both are estranged from God, it’s poison. But God has a better plan, and when we submit to His guidance from His Word our marriage can be the way it was designed to be.

I look forward to the others in this series! They are loaded with Scriptural guidance and time-tested wisdom.